Artspeaks Consulting

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I am working on a cutting edge blend of mindfulness practices and athletic adrenaline. Is it possible to address decision making, critical thinking and emotions when in the throws of an adrenaline rush? Do you want to learn more techniques to confront unexpected challenges both in the pursuit of your sport and in life in general? If you are interested in being a part of my study, share your sport, how it feels when you are in the clutches of an adrenal high and alternately, an adrenal low (when things don’t go well). Let me know if you are aware of a pivotal moment when reason is no longer accessible. Share your pre-game ritual. In return, I will share my new techniques with you to try out in your next training session. If you have more questions, feel free share. I look forward to exploring highs with you!

‘He Gave Me The Finger!’
Thats what a seven year old boy told me in my office the other day. He went on to say that his teacher did nothing about it and he was downright miffed. I asked the boy if he knew why the other kid did it and he had no idea. Then it occurred to me to ask, Do you know what the means? He didnt know specifically but he knew it was really bad like the ultimate put down. He asked me if it had to do with the f word and I said yes, in a way it did. But that doesnt even make sense because the f word is actually about a beautiful act between two people and somehow over time it has taken on this horrible meaning. But this is all off the subject.
The boy looked me hard in the face and asked me what to do. I looked at him with similar sternness and asked him if he tattled. He dutifully said “Yes, I told my teacher.” I explained that tattling is the problem, not the finger! When a teacher or parent hears a kid saying, so and so did this or that, they hear a whinny voice saying please fix this problem for me. Children need to be empowered to solve problems no matter who is causing the turmoil. More effective language is, I need help. So and so gave me the finger and I dont know what to do. The adult is not put in a situation of judge. No one has to be right or wrong. The boy with confusion and hurt feelings can be witnessed and get some ideas. The kid giving the finger can get some support too. The adult can say, Wow! When people act angry at me, I usually try to give them some cool down time. Maybe you can talk to him later to see whats wrong. And to the finger-giving kid, You seem mad or frustrated. What do you need to get back in the flow?
Kids need guidance away from the black and white thinking that is familiar to them. They need to learn to think of options rather than reactions. Kids benefit from learning about wait-time, taking a breath before responding to harsh or challenging social situations. Kids develop confidence when they are not pawns in the games of others. They can make choices about who they hang with, how they think about themselves and others and whats important to them. They cant force people to like or forgive them. But to be a dependable friend is to be straight up with your truth, be willing to accept when you are wrong or made a mistake and have a propensity for unadulterated fun!

This is a rough few weeks for college applicants because offers, declines and waitlist letters are being mailed every day. Students feel like the most important decision of their life is unfolding in front of them and they feel overwhelmed. Ive been working with teens going through this progression for a decade now and somehow [...]

At Buddha Moms group last week I learned a fabulous new way to deal with too much of anything for children. Call in the Switch Witch! Heres how it works. Say its the day after Halloween or Easter and your child/ren has already overdosed on candy. Tell them you heard that the Switch Witch is [...]

“Dating” makes me think of the 1950s when a boy picked up a girl at her house with a borrowed car from his parents. The girl’s parents answered the door, chatted briefly with the young man while the girl emerges at the top of the stairs. She hurried down, snatched her purse and off they [...]

Do you ever get the Sunday night blues or the Monday morning doldrums? Does the amount of to-dos on you plate make you feel overwhelmed and almost sick? You dont have to have an anxiety disorder to fall into this category. You just have to live in this culture. So what to do? How do [...]

There is this boy in my class that I kind of like and we went out. Laterhe dumped me because he did not want to get dumped and thought that I was going to dump him. Later on the bus, he asked me out again. I said no. My best friend and him were [...]

About a year ago I had a terribly frustrating experience with a web company who I hired to re-design the back end of my artspeaksconsulting.com website so that I could edit it myself. After 5 months of missed communications and irritations, I fired them. I started looking for a new web master and marketing guru [...]

The answers are inside of you! We all have the answers to our problems and challenges inside of us but dont always have access to the answers. Find out whats true for you. This is where we begin our journey.

Q: My old best friends are ignoring me. I want to be friends again but it is hard. I only have 7 girls in my grade. Help!
A; It sounds like you might have had a break from these friends either because of a summer break or a natural drifting since you call them your old [...]